In my previous post I talked about some of my early sexual experiences and how they may have hinted at my fem & sub tendencies. Well my first overt move towards sissy play may have been the first real porn movie I saw. I was at home and I think my brother or a friend of his may have brought it, though I don't recall all the details. I was still fairly young, maybe 15, and my only sexual outlets had been getting myself off with some rare and carefully hoarded porn magazines, such as Hustler, Penthouse, Cheri and the like. Realize that at this time, Hustler was pretty raw, comparatively, and about as close to hardcore as you could get without going to an actual adult bookstore.
It was a pretty standard, general audience movie with straight sex, a lesbian scene (another hot button topic for me growing up) and an anal sex scene. It was this last that seemed to really stick in my mind at the time. I guess because, up until then, I'd never really thought about that as a sexual thing. But here was this hot woman moaning and pushing back as a man slid his big, hard cock into her butt. When the movie was done I remember slipping off to the bathroom and found my fingers sliding down to my tight little pucker. Between the new sensations caused by my initial touch and being so turned on from the movie I was soon reverse-stradling the commode, stroking myself and finger-fucking my hole till I came hard. That began a period of anal exploration. I found objects, bigger than my finger, I could slide inside myself while I masturbated. Kind of embarrassing to talk about now, even considering the nature of this blog! I tried things like a smooth handled screwdriver, or an appropriately shaped deodorant bottle, to name only a few of my carefully selected 'lovers'. There was just something so hot about penetrating myself. Stretching my hole around an invading object. It became a fairly regular thing when I'd get really hot. I often wondered if I was weird for me to be doing it, though the girl in the movie obviously liked it and I certainly enjoyed it.
More to cum . . .